I have, written on dreaming before, lucid dreaming to be precise and then there go the Nazis and start up the whole thing again.

After finding out the topic for this months issue I promptly had another lucid dream (flying – amen amen praised be to Allah). A small almost insignificant coincidence is that I had it the night before staying at someone's house where I also had the last lucid dream, and neither my lucid dreams nor my stays at this family are what you would call frequent.

I also had a run of incredibly crazy dreams, some including starlettes (child movie stars), Lindsey Lohan appearing twice in a week??

One night I woke up once, incredibly happy and later on whimpering (I think I had to poke out the eyes of a baby bird monster with a piece of tin - not surprising I woke up disturbed).

I've been dreaming about dream worlds I've been to before.
I've been dreaming about people I know.
I've been dreaming every night.
I've been dreaming about world peace.
And dolphins.

Anyway, here in the holy land they say people live dreams, eat dreams, smoke dreams – and not because it such an oh so holy city but because no ones got any money.
Men dream in this country.
A lot.
They dream they have a chance.
Walking home from a concert this old guy across the street whistled at me and told me to come on over (oh yeah, great idea). Eventually he crossed the street and asked me if he knows me from somewhere. Is he fucking dreaming, yeah we play bingo together in the home on Wednesdays (oooh I wish I'd thought to say that).

There's another guy in my area who has tried to start with me at least 4 or 5 times over the course of my time in this place. Every time he asks if he knows me from somewhere (not very imaginative are they now) and now I need to start telling him that yeah he does know me – from the last time he tried to pick me up.

And I always wonder, why does he do it? Does he actually think this smooth technique will work? And then one day I see him going by a café I'm sitting in and suddenly he's meeting up with a girl who is none other than MY flat mate (she's also a little strange). And later when I asked her about it she said he kept bugging her so she agreed to meet him. 'On the street he was bugging you?' I asked, 'No' she says 'on the phone'. Which means he's not dreaming, there are girls stupid enough to give him their number. Impressive.

Our landlady is a big dreamer.
She dreams that the washing machine that breaks down every month is still a winner. Truthfully I don't actually think she's dreaming, she really, truly believes it. When she comes over every month (for the rent in cash – hello tax evasion) and she asks at the end (before she hauls her fat bum and 20 plastic bags down out our door) if there's anything else and we say yeah 'the washing machine jumps around like an elephant and the machine cleans nothing' she's actually surprised.

She had the audacity to recommend we use more expensive washing powder and to suggest that the reason my underwear and socks weren't getting clean was because they were (and I quote) 'thoroughly filthy' and that I should spray them with stain remover before putting them into wash (I didn't stop laughing for about 10 minutes after that).

Last night it was flooding the laundry and bathroom. I was stupid enough to dream that although it flooded for my flat mate it wouldn't flood for me. Eitan had come over to do a load and he dreamt there wasn't already a finished load in the machine when he put his clothes in. I dreamt the machine wasn't that full and added in some of my own washing. I call it dreaming, you may call it stupidity. Anyway we mopped up the bathroom and squeezed out our laundry and then left the initial load in some dark, murky water to surprise its owner who this morning said she dreamt the load had gone through spin cycle and wasn't sopping wet yesterday.

Anyway enough of my dreams, back to our landlady.
She dreams that the reason the freezer stopped working was because we have a toaster on the table next to the fridge, unfreezing the freezer while we make toast.
She dreams we broke it.
She dreams that we are ripping her off and doing drugs and bad deeds in her flat. She dreams we like it when she comes over.
She dreams we want to invite her to our parties.
She dreams she's not lonely.